


Where do I go from here? (Kageyama)

by jia_kameda



Series: He mele no Kageyama [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-08-02 01:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16295609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jia_kameda/pseuds/jia_kameda
Summary: After having graduated from Karasuno High School, Kageyama got himself a spot in Tohoku University. There he joins the number one volleyball team and meets Shiratorizawa's Ushijima Wakatoshi. As fate might have it, the rather stoic man is the one who introduces Kageyama to the man who will make him finally get over his high school sweetheart Tsukishima...No fixed schedule for updates.





	1. A whole new world (reprise)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey tortoises & munchkin kittens!
> 
> Thanks for reading. Hope you will grow to like this story. This is the continuation from the Tsuki/Kage fic 'He mele no' and it follows Kageyama on his journey to find a better person to be with than Tsukihsim (though I think they might have been a good couple, if Tsukishima was not such an arse). Anyway, there will also be a continuation for Tsukishima, so if you're interested, stay tuned. 
> 
> And this story does not have a publishing schedule yet, so please bear with me. 
> 
> Jia ne
> 
> PS: the first two chapters have been beta read and I fixed them.

Kageyama Tobio wondered if nervousness was a form of weakness or if it just showed that one cared about the outcome of a certain situation – because he was nervous, and he did not want to be called weak. 

He had entered Sendai University, as it was the only university in northern Japan that specialized in physical education and was therefore perfect for people who wanted to become professional sportspeople. And because it was the only sport oriented university in northern Japan, Kageyama knew whom he would encounter on the volleyball team there: Shiratorizawa’s Ushijima Wakatoshi. It was like a dream to meet his (1) senpai’s nemesis on the same side of the court. However, Ushijima was also exactly the reason why he was nervous. 

What if the older player still thought that only Oikawa Tooru was worth his while? What if he would snub him and prefer another setter to him? What if, Kageyama wondered getting more and more anxious, he was unable to make the team due to Ushijima’s disapproval? 

Kageyama took a deep breath, slapped his face and told himself to get a grip. His junior high school days were now long in the past, so he would probably not be bullied again, especially as he had learned how to take other players preferences and attitudes into consideration. So even if Ushijima Wakatoshi was not his greatest fan, the coach would make them play together, if – and Kageyama knew fairly well that this one ‘if’ was important – he would play well during practice matches. Kageyama was certain, that he would play well during those because he really wanted to make the team. The simple reason was, that if he did not make it on the team, he would never become a professional player. 

Kageyama took another deep breath and entered the rather modern gym. Like most other gyms he had seen when visiting universities before deciding on taking the entrance exam for Sendai University, this gym too had an entrance hall with a lot of (2) getabako on one side, a couple of benches for people to sit and some vending machines in the middle, as well as a small window with a counter on the other side. Behind the counter an elderly man sat reading a newspaper. 

The counter was still in the area where people were allowed to wear their outdoor shoes, so Kageyama walked over and cleared his throat to get the man’s attention. When that did not help he tried again: “Excuse me...” 

The elderly man jumped from his seat and apologized for not having heard him the first time. “What can I do for you?”

“I’d like to attend volleyball practice. Which Gym do I go to?” 

“Oh, you want to see the great Ushiwaka, I reckon?” The old man smiled. “He’s the pride of the school. The volleyball try outs happen in Gym number four that’s in the back of the first floor. Just walk down the corridor behind the getabako and then all the way to the back, there are stairs to the upper floors.”

Kageyama thanked the elderly man and bowed slightly before stepping out of his shoes and on to the area on which outdoor shoes were forbidden. He placed his shoes in one of the empty slots in the getabako, took his sport shoes from his bag and put them on before walking towards the stairs at the end of the corridor that had been pointed out to him. 

When he had climbed up the stairs, he turned to the left and came face to face with the door to gym number four. The dark brown, wooden door had a large, white four painted on it. The black haired young man was about to take another deep breath, when he realized that he had already taken too many deep breaths that day for no good reason, so he just pushed the door open and entered. 

The gym was empty. 

Kageyama blinked in surprise and then he frowned. What was he supposed to do now? Sit down and wait? Maybe going back to the man at the entrance would be a better idea… Then again, he might also just be a bit too early… 

Having decided to waiti, Kageyama stepped to the side and sat down next to the door. He had dropped his bag next to him and started to rummage through it to find his phone. It was blinking blue when he finally found it. He pressed the home button, the screen lit up and Hinata’s name flashed over it. Kageyama’s face lit up for a split second before the frown reappeared. He opened the message. 

(3) Hinata-Boke: Kageyama!! Good luck for the try-outs!!! 

KageyamaTobio: Don’t need luck, I’m great. 

Hinata-Boke: Hahahaha I know you’re nervous. It’s freaking Ushiwaka!!! Who wouldn’t be??!! He’s huge!!!

KageyamaTobio: I know that he’s huge. He was when we faced him in first year – three years ago. I refuse to be scared of someone we beat when we were mere first years. 

Hinata-Boke: You won’t convince me that you’re not shitting yourself from nervousness. 

Kageyama rolled his eyes and refused to send anything else but: “BOKE”. He switched his phone off and was wondering what he should do, when he suddenly heard footsteps approaching the door. He jumped up right in time when a very tall young man with short brown hair entered. There was no mistaking it: it was Ushiwaka himself. Kageyama gulped as the wing spiker gave him a once over with his olive brown eyes. 

“Kageyama Tobio.” Ushijima Wakatoshi stated flatly, the bass of his voice steadily carrying through the empty room. 

Kageyama bowed in greeting. 

“Good to see you.”

“Thank you?” Kageyama wasn’t sure what he was to make of his new senpai’s statement, but hoped that if the great, left handed Ushiwaka still remembered someone’s name and told them that it was “good to see them” it was meant as a compliment. 

The black haired setter watched as Ushiwaka put his sports bag down and took a water bottle from it. A slightly uncomfortable silence settled in the large gym. 

Kageyama was at a loss as to what he was supposed to do. He wanted to get the net and set it up so that they could start practice, but he wasn’t a member of the club yet and did not exactly know where the net and balls were kept, so he just stood there and watched as the tall wing spiker drank form his bottle, seemingly unbothered by the awkwardness between them. 

“So” Ushijima Wakatoshi finally broke the silence “you still intend to play as a setter?”

“Of course!” Kageyama realized that that had sounded a bit too cocky a moment too late. He blushed and was about to stutter an excuse when he noticed that there was something like a smile tugging at the older man’s lips. It was faint and disappeared so fast that Kageyama doubted if it had been there at all, but he did get the feeling that he had not offended him. 

“I trust you to try your best to make the team.”

“Yes.” 

Silence settled between them again. 

Hence Kageyama was extremely relieved to hear the chatter of some overly excited sounding people when other members of the team started to fill into the gym. As Kageyama soon discovered, all the people who came were already members of the team, even though there were only a few first string players among them. 

The black haired first year student stood close to the wall observing the other men walk towards the equipment room, while he sipped from his sports drink bottle. He was quiet and tried not to gather attention because he somehow felt out of place. Had he mistaken the day of the first training session for people who wanted to try out and get into the team? Or was he simply too early? 

A feeling akin to anxiousness filled his chest and his vision started to get blurry. Darkness crept in from the edge, tainting everything black.

“Oh, if it is not Karasuno’s famous setter Kageyama Tobio.” A familiar voice made him snap out of it. He blinked and looked first straight and then down, as his eyes had only caught some light brown locks. A friendly smile greeted him. However, it took Kageyama a moment before he figured out who exactly was standing in front of him. 

“Yaku-san” He finally greeted. “I did not know you were here.”

The smaller man shrugged. “Well, I am not exactly aiming for pro, so how could you have expected me to be here?” His smile faded. “Well, I suppose you are going pro?” 

“If possible.” Kageyama nodded with a grave expression. 

“Great” Yaku-san patted his shoulder in an overly friendly way. “Then we’ll have a lot to look forward to. Now, I suppose you wanted to take part in the try-outs then?” Kageyama nodded at this. “I’m sorry to say, but try-outs were cancelled for today.” Kageyama blinked, but didn’t reply anything to that, which made Yaku laugh out loud. “Just pulling your leg. The coaches will be here in about twenty, why don’t you warm up with us?” The smaller man gestured to the other team members behind him. “Gives you an advantage, trust me – try-outs here are not to be taken lightly.” 

Kageyama readily agreed and was subsequently introduced to the other team members, courtesy of Yaku-san. They started the warm up with running rounds. Ushijima was at the front and everyone else followed him. After three rounds he started to mix the running up with running backwards for two rounds and then side wards for another two rounds. Then short sprints across the hall followed and after that stretching exercises for arms, hands and fingers. As a follow up they teamed up in pairs of two and started to toss each other the ball a couple of times, switching between tosses and simple receives. After having done about fifty receives each, a whistle was blown and they gathered in a large circle to do some stretching for the legs and feet. 

While they were doing all that, more people started to fill in and Kageyama got a glimpse of the other first years that were thinking of joining. It gave him a feeling of superiority that he had known someone on the team who had asked him to join them in the warm up, because when he walked up to the group of newly arrived people, they first looked at him with reverence before blinking once or twice and realizing that he too was one of them and not a senpai. 

The coaches had arrived five minutes before the warm up session had ended. The head coach was an elderly man, about fifty years of age with short black hair and a moustache. He had been followed by two younger men with similar short hair, but no moustaches. The team gathered in front of the three men after having taken a sip or two from their water bottles. The first years stood apart from them close to the wall, waiting to be asked to do something. 

The head coach first gave his usual greetings and then told the team how to team up and practice under the watchful eyes of one of the assistant coaches. The head coach then turned to the first year students. He gave them a once over and nodded. “Well, good to see you all here”, he started, “most of you will not stay. Don’t take it personally, but this team will by no means accept all of you. I assume all of you have come from good high schools and played in excellent teams so far, but let me tell you that here, at the official men’s volley ball team of Sendai University, we only take outstanding players. If you want to play volleyball just for fun, I recommend you go to one of our many less serious volleyball clubs and circles on campus.” A lot of the first years around Kageyama gulped, seemingly intimidated by what the head coach had just said. “Today we will start with the try-out week. To give everyone a fair chance, we make it a week and not only a day – because maybe some of you don’t feel physically great right now, but will be in perfect shape by the end of the week and we would not want to exclude any outstanding players because of one bad day. You are not required to attend all five try-out sessions, but let me tell you that it is highly recommended that you do, if you really want to become part of this team.” 

Another round of gulps. 

‘What is their problem?’ Kageyama wondered. Had they just come here for the fun of it? This was serious business, so of course the head coach would try to frighten them to separate the serious ones from the rest. 

“Well then, we will start with a short warm up exercise. Coach Hori will supervise you, so listen to what he says.” The head coach turned around and walked away from the first years to the other side of the gym to watch the older members practice. 

***

The week of try-outs went well and by the end of it, Kageyama was quite convinced that he had made the team. It was not difficult to judge if one had made the team or not, or atleast the black haired first year thought so. The coach had started giving out favours to those he thought were worth keeping by the middle of the week and Kageyama had been one of those favoured players. He didn’t know if the better treatment stemmed from him always being the first first-year to show up and therefore being the only one to participate in the warm up routine of the older members, or if it had to do with the fact that Kageyama had been an outstanding performer in his last inter-high competition. Or maybe the head coach had seen him talk to Ushiwaka on the second day when Kageyama had once again been approached by Yaku-san before the official training had started and Ushiwaka had joined in to give him something that had sounded like advice, but with the way the older man spoke it was not quite clear to Kageyama if Ushijima Wakatoshi had really meant to give advice or had only been passing by pretending to be social. 

“Don’t worry too much”, Yaku-san said at the beginning of the training on Friday night. “You will be among the guys Coach Hori will name today after the last practice is over. You’re great – way better than our current setter and he’s already quite good.”

Kageyama thanked for the compliment and assured his acquaintance that he was not nervous. Which was in fact only true until the moment when the list of new members was read out by Coach Hori. Kageyama could not help but be nervous at that moment and who would not have been nervous? No matter how convinced he was of his own skills, there wasn’t much he could do when the coaches were not. 

It came to no-one’s surprise that “Kageyama Tobio” was among the first names that were read from the list and the black haired setter felt quite relieved. Now he would only have to convince the coaches that he was better suited as the first setter than the current setter was. Something akin to pride grew in his chest.

The training session ended after the coaches had given thanks to everyone who had tried out for the team and congratulated everyone who had made the team. The new members were then made to put away the net and all other equipment and were therefore the last people to leave the gym. 

To Kageyama’s surprise, he found Yaku-san, Ushiwaka and some other older members still in the changing room when he reached it together with the other first years. 

“See, I told you” Yaku-san smiled widely and slapped him on the back. “Great job, Kageyama. Come, we’ll have a drink on that.” 

“I don’t drink”, Kageyama stated plainly.

“Why?”

“First, I am under age and second I am aiming to become pro and studies show that alcohol has a negative impact on player’s abilities.”

He could see Ushijima Wakatoshi nod in the back of the changing room as if in agreement. 

“Come on, don’t be a spoil sport. You don’t have to have alcohol. Just come with us – even Ushijima is joining us and he doesn’t drink either.” 

There was not much Kageyama could have said to refuse now. He hurriedly changed into his normal clothes, as he made it a habit to not come to practice already wearing his gym clothes. 

They were a rather large group when they exited the gym and made their way to the dorms where most of the first years resided. They left their sports bags in their respective rooms and some older students bullied their new (4) kouhai into doing the same with their bags, so that they did not have to take bags with dirty laundry to the club. 

Kageyama sighed as he looked at Yaku-san’s in his hand, but he had not been able to refuse and having one more bag with smelly socks in his room made not much of a difference. 

The team members met outside of campus to take the bus into town together. 

***

Translation note:   
(1) Senpai = person who is in a higher grade as oneself or joined a company/club before oneself, it does not necessarily mean that the person is older in age  
(2)Getabako = place to put your shoes  
(3) Boke = Idiot  
(4) kouhai = person who is in a lower grade than oneself or joined a company/club after oneself, it does not necessarily mean that the person is younger in age

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been beta read and corrected on 05.02.2019.   
> Kudo's to my friend for helping out.


	2. Heigh-ho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, sorry for the not so regular update schedule.  
> This has only been beta-ed by myself, so if you find any mistakes I'd be glad for you to point them out to me. :)  
> Jia ne

As a new member of the number one volleyball team, Kageyama soon found himself with little free time. He had found a part time job, so studying, working and club activities took up most of his time. Of course it wasn’t much different from high school – apart from the part time work – but somehow everything felt a lot more exhausting. Maybe it was because when he came home, there was no one and no food, unless he prepared something in the morning or brought something home from work. 

It took Kageyama a while to get used to the arrangement. And he felt somehow lonely, even though he lived in the student dorms. He could hear people all night long doing things in their rooms he did not really care to know they were doing. Some nights he stared at his phone, ear plugs in place to have some peace and quiet. He would flick through old pictures. And he would eventually reach one or two pictures he had not deleted that showed Tsukishima Kei. 

He did not want to wonder how his tall, blond ex was doing and at the same time, he could not help but think about it. Time had passed. Soon it would be a year since they separated and still, still he felt something. He hated, that he had not stayed on good terms and at the same time he hated that Tsukishima had just accepted the break-up. The blond had never questioned anything about it. Never even tried to talk to him about it, they had just ignored each other as often as possible. 

When he couldn’t fall asleep at nights, Kageyama wondered if that would happen to him again. If his next boyfriend would break up with him in the same manner. If he would ever find another person, he could care about as much as he had cared about Tsukishima. He knew he was capable of friendly feelings towards people – otherwise he would not have stayed in contact with Hinata and met up with the bundle of energy even after their schools had changed – but he had yet to find any other guy who caught his fancy and kindled lust in him the way Tsukishima had done. There were some good-looking guys, but none of them were really to Kageyama’s taste. And that irked him somehow. 

What irked him even more was that Hinata was the only person with whom he could talk about such things. No one in his new team knew which way his desire went, which was probably good because he did not want to be discriminated against by the players or coaches. For all he knew Ushijima could have been the greatest bigot of all, stoic and inflexible as he seemed. Yaku-san would probably be on his side, if he ever found out, but it was hard to tell.

And because he did not intend to come out to his team mates, he also avoided letting it slip among his new-found friends from his courses. They all seemed like very open-minded people, but if he told them, who knew, maybe the information would reach the ears of his teammates. It was better not to take any risks. 

He frequently found himself at gatherings on Friday night with all his teammates in a bar or restaurant, pretending to find it funny or interesting how they talked about their sexual exploits. Granted, after the second week he had taken to sitting next to Ushijima because then he was usually exempted from questioning, mainly as people did try not to anger Ushijima, who hated banter and was as mysterious about his preferences or relationship status as it was humanly possible. Yaku-san once pointed out to Kageyama that he indeed thought that Ushijima’s attitude was not a very good act but that the guy was really asexual. Not that he would blame him, but where was the fun in that? Kageyama had shrugged, unsure how to react. Because, who was he to judge where the fun in any sexuality was?

As time went on, it became easier to blend in with the crowd, especially as Kageyama was reluctant to go out and find someone who shared his preferences. However, Hinata constantly nagged Kageyama about how he needed to “expand his horizon” or “get out of your cave”. Not that Hinata was really one to lecture him about such things, he was equally single and probably even more hung up on one Yachi Hitoka than Kageyama was hung up on Tsukishima Kei. 

***

Some months had passed, and it was shortly before summer break when coach Hori announced that they would be having yet another practice match with another team. They had had at least one practice match once a month. What was different about this one was, that it would be part of a short training camp. It would be one week during the summer holidays.The practice match was supposed to take place at the end of the second week of vacation. 

Kageyama had known that there would be a camp, but not that they would have a team to compete against at the end. Silly that he had not thought about it before. 

Even sillier that he had not bothered looking into which university it was that they were going to compete against. Because if he had, he would not have been caught unguarded when the team arrived on a large bus and an averagely tall man with wavy brown hair stepped off it. Oikawa flashed him one of his boisterous smiles and called out “Tobio-chan!” as soon as he had caught his eyes. 

Kageyama wanted nothing more than to burrow his face in his hands and disappear but there was little he could do. It was 9 o’clock in the morning at that point and the black haired first year was sure that it would be a long day. 

He turned and walked back into the gym to warm up with his team after they had received the other team and Yaku-san slapped his back. “Good for you that he hasn’t forgotten about you,” he snickered. 

“I wish he had…”

“Trust me, you’re not the only one.” Another senpai joined in and explained that this was not the first time they played Oikawa’s team. They played them even though his university was in Tokyo. They played them at least two times a year and Oikawa had made it a point to pester everyone during those times. He did that on and off court and especially often at the social gatherings after the matches. However, his favourite ‘victim’, as the senpai called it, was Ushiwaka. Oikawa had taken to calling him “Waka-chan”, much to their ace’s dismay. 

Now that there was another person Oikawa could annoy and due to his long-standing tradition of being a nuisance to the people who knew him from earlier stages of his life, Ushijima was less of a target. Which meant that Kageyama did have to concentrate twice as much when he stood on the court. He knew that Oikawa didn’t only tease for the fun of it, but also to distract and rile his opponent up. It was way easier to lose focus and make mistakes if one was irritated. Unfortunately, there was little Kageyama could do to shut Oikawa’s comments and cat calling. It was indeed a long day. 

And a long night afterwards. 

The first place they went to was a large (1) izakaya. The coaches had reserved the whole upper part of it for their party and offered everyone free food. The drinks they had to pay themselves. 

As per usual, Kageyama entered the izakaya right after Ushijima and took a seat next to him. The seats filled up slowly and Kageyama thought for a moment that he might be lucky enough to get the coaches to sit with him and their ace, as their table could hold a maximum of six people. However, to his dismay, the person who took the seat next to him was Oikawa

“Tobio-chan!” The brown-haired man called out and smiled brightly. “It’s been ages! And you’re still not as good as me.”

Kageyama schooled his features to be as impassive as humanly possible. “You’ve mentioned the same thing before already – four times during the match. I’d like to point out that we won two of the three…”

“Oh, but that was thanks to Waka-chan here,” Oikawa said loftily. “I don’t have Iwa-chan with me anymore, so beating Waka-chan is just sooo much harder.”

“Must be frustrating,” Kageyama murmured.

Ushijima unexpectedly joined the conversation by saying: “You should have taken the exam for Sendai University.”

Oikawa huffed. “Like I would stick around in such a rural and savage place!” 

“Oy!” Yaku-san who had been walking past called out. “Did you just insult my new home – again?”

Oikawa laughed. “Well, this place may suit an uncivilized person like you, Mori-chan. But I’m used to better things now. By the way, where’s Chibi-chan?” 

“Hinata entered a vocational school, by recommendation of the (2) Blazers coach, who wants him to first get some more education done before he enters the team.” Kageyama shrugged. “I hope he’ll still be good enough to play competitively in two years, the team he’s in right now is not the best.”

“Hmpf” Oikawa did not seem impressed. Who would have been? Hinata had studied his but off to get into some kind of university.However, he wasn’t the brightest candle and so vocational school was as far as he had been able to go. Kageyama himself was quite happy that he had been wise enough to get Tsukishima to help him study when they still had been on good terms, otherwise Sendai University would have been way out of his league. “Well, I do hope to encounter Chibi-chan again, it would be rather wasteful if he didn’t go pro.”

Kageyama nodded. As much as he admired Ushijima and his skill, he wasn’t nearly as challenging to play with as Hinata. Ushijima was a solid scorer. He was tall and his spikes and serves were powerful, so any team would be lucky to have him. It didn’t even matter if the setter was good or not, Ushijima could score enough points for that not to matter – which annoyed Kageyama at times. With Hinata the outcome of a game was less certain, which in turn made the game and all the other members of the team more important…But it did not good to dwell on such things. Playing with Ushijima was great. Yaku-san was also an interesting player to have on a team. And beating Oikawa in a practice match also had its good sides. 

“Tobio-chan! Did you even pay attention?”

“To what?” Kageyama blinked. 

“I know, I’m dazzling – but that is no excuse to just get lost in thought while staring at me,” Oikawa chided, a sly smile on his face. “Well, as punishment for not listening, you are going to come with us.”

“What? No!” But there was no way to resist a very insistent Oikawa. Not without the help of his senpai and neither Ushijima nor Yaku-san really tried to get him out of the obligation of joining Oikawa in his pursuit of nightly diversion. 

So, after the official socializing had ended, Oikawa called a taxi company. They squeezed themselves into the small car and let the driver take them to another part of town. Kageyama wondered how Oikawa knew about that specific bar they went in, having never lived in Sendai, but apparently it was a bar the others had been to before. 

The bar was part sports bar, part club – a rather interesting combination. They got a table in the middle area, as Oikawa insisted that he would go dancing at some point and ordered their drinks. Ushijima and Kageyama stuck to oolong tea, despite Oikawa whining about them being spoilsports. Yaku-san had a whisky on the rocks and Oikawa ordered a beer. 

“You should always order a beer first, no matter where you are – it’s good manners!” he claimed and was suddenly sitting much closer to Kageyama than when they had taken their seats. “Say, Tobio-chan, you sure you don’t wanna drink? I’ll buy it for you.” His voice had dropped to a low whisper, so that only Kageyama could hear him.

“No, I’m fine.” The black haired first year gulped. “I’d rather not break the law.”

“Aww, come on. Don’t be so stiff – like if you wanna become stiff later, that’s fine, but right now it’d be more fun if we’d all became a little closer. Maybe alcohol would help?” Oikawa winked at him.

Kageyama felt uncomfortable. Not only because Oikawa’s body was touching him but alsobecause heat spread through his own body. This was the first time since he had broken up with Tsukishima that someone had touched him in a seemingly innocent but somehow rather intimate way. 

He could not reciprocate the – was it really flirting? “I think we’re already close enough – thanks.”

“Aww. Come on,” Oikawa whispered. “I know you’re not opposed to your own gender – it was quite obvious even back in middle school.”

Kageyama nearly jumped from his seat. “What?” His voice was a whisper no more. 

Yaku-san and Ushijima who had been speaking about something or other that had been on one of the large TV screens immediately turned their heads towards them. Ushijima raised an eyebrow and said: “Oikawa, I would be glad if you did not tease my kouhai so much.”

“What? I was not teasing him.” Oikawa finally backed off and sat straight on his chair. He took a sip from his beer and huffed. “You’re just jealous I’m not trying to get into your pants.” 

Kageyama was not sure if he would recover from this. How, and why, was Oikawa so open about this? He had always thought that his old senpai was just being funny in an inappropriate way by calling everyone ‘-chan’. It was then when he caught Yaku-san crack a sheepish smile. “You didn’t know?” was written all over his face. 

Kageyama gave him the “how could I?” look and Yaku-san got off his seat, passed by Oikawa who had started a one-sided argument with Ushijima, to whisper: “He’s been doing this for the past 2 years – to my knowledge. I mean, I have no idea how he treated Ushijima when they were in high school. But I suppose he had Iwaizumi-san to keep him in check.”

“You’ve met Iwaizumi?”

“Sure, he came along on the first outing. He’s not into guys, but knew this place was a mixed establishment, which was why he took us here.” He shrugged. “Just tell him openly when you’re not interested. It won’t really make him shut up, but he’ll not try to make a move on you.”

Kageyama nodded gravely. Quickly looked between Oikawa and Ushijima and then asked: “Did you know too? I mean, about me?”

Yaku-san just shrugged. “I thought you might be, I mean the way you kept hiding behind Ushiwaka every time the topic came up? It was a little suspicious.”

“Do you think the others know?”

“NO! They think you’re like Ushiwaka – volley-sexual.” Yaku-san snickered. 

Kageyama blushed. He didn’t know which was worse. His teammates knowing that he was gay or them thinking he was a huge nerd. 

“No, really. Don’t mind it too much. Everyone just loves who they love. I won’t judge, neither will Ushiwaka – except maybe if you really let yourself be taken to bed by trash like Oikawa.”

“OI! I heard that!” Oikawa jammed his elbow between Yaku-san’s ribs. “The only one who can call me trash is Iwa-chan – and he’s nowhere to be seen.”

Yaku-san laughed and went back to his seat. 

“So, is it really a no?” Oikawa looked straight at Kageyama, who just nodded and took a large sip from his oolong tea. “Damn it. One more lonely night.” Oikawa blew his cheeks out in a gesture of annoyance. 

“If you look around, I’m sure you’ll find someone in the bar you like.” Yaku-san raised his glass to him. “You’re handsome enough for a ONS.”

“Rude! I don’t want to take home some random stranger!”

“Well then, I guess it will be just you and your hand.”

Oikawa called out “rude” another time, while Yaku-san and Kageyama both laughed. Ushijima had a faint smile on his face. “I’ll get wasted and make you look after me, just to spite you,” the brown-haired man announced and went to order something with a lot more alcohol in it. 

Oikawa was on his third drink, when he suddenly blinked and almost shouted “Did you call the (3) kappa over, Waka-chan??” pointing towards the entrance. 

Kageyama whipped his head around to see who Oikawa was referring to. 

A tall, red-haired stranger made his way through the crowd. He might not have been conventionally handsome, but something in Kageyama’s chest tingled. He really did not know why. Compared to Tsukishima, this man was too gangly, too eccentric.

It was no other than Tendou Satori, Ushijima Wakatoshi’s teammate from Shiratorizwa, who was slowly approaching them. Being tall and having spikey red hair, he stood out. And if his odd hair style would not have made everyone look at him, then the eccentric way of dressing would have. He wore shoes whose colour was similar to his hair, black leggings and a bright orange jacket, even though it was still pretty hot outside. He waved at them as soon as he realized that Oikawa had spotted him and grinned from ear to ear. 

Indeed, this was one of the longest nights Kageyama had ever endured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation note:  
> (1) izakaya = ‘informal Japanese pub’; usually serves alcohol and small snacks like fried chicken, grilled chicken skewers etc.  
> (2) Blazers = Osaka Blazers Sakai = an actual volleyball team, it’s one of 8 teams competing in the V.Premier League  
> (3) kappa = mythical being that dwells in rivers or lakes. The second kanji in Tendou’s name 天童 is the same as in the word kappa 河童.


	3. I wonder...

Maybe calling Tendou over had been a kind act of Ushijima. Maybe it was the worst idea the tall, stoic spiker had ever had. Kageyama would never be really sure about it. 

For one, there was one more person Oikawa could interact with – and subsequently flirt with. Tendou did a great job at entertaining Oikawa. He took turns in being friendly and flirty with Oikawa, showing off his still rather well-formed body to anyone who would look and making fun of the whole group. The only person who was exempted from his leery smiles and bad attitude was of course Ushijima. Tendou still teased him, but in a very different way. 

On the other hand, there was one more person to take care of Oikawa. Because he made good on his promise and really got shit faced. 

As the night was drawing to a close, it was nearly three o’clock in the morning and there was no way of getting Oikawa back to his hotel room. He was so out of it that Ushijima had to help him walk out of the bar. Yaku-san had left about an hour before closing time, claiming that there was still a train running to his place at that time. Kageyama was certain the libero had been lying but there had been no way to make the blond man stay. 

Ushijima, who still lived with his parents, helped Tendou and Kageyama get a taxi and drive to Tendou’s place, before making his way home. Tendou lived closest to the bar where they had gone to, only about ten minutes by car. Ushijima’s family however lived about forty minutes by walking. Tendou teased Ushijima when he refused to share the taxi that he only wanted to put in some more practice for the day by running home. 

Kageyama was quite sure that Ushijima indeed ran rather than walked home. 

The ride to Tendou’s was an awkward one. The three of them sat in the back seat, Oikawa squished in between Tendou and Kageyama and every time they went over a slight bump both of the sober men feared for the stomach content of the drunk one. To their relief they made it to Tendou’s place without any incident. Tendou payed the driver while Kageyama tried to steady Oikawa and have him walk up a flight of stairs to Tendou’s flat. 

The red-haired man ran up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, and overtook Kageyama and Oikawa to open the door for them and usher them inside. It was rather cramped in the (1) genkan, but Tendou quickly toed off his shoes and freed up some space for Kageyama to dump Oikawa on the floor and help him get rid of his shoes. After that, Tendou helped Oikawa up again and herded him down the corridor towards a door, which probably led into the one and only other room in the flat. 

Kageyama exhaled and inhaled a few times to get himself a bit more composed before he took off his own shoes and put all the shoes into order. He then stepped up into the corridor and followed Tendou into the room in the back. 

Oikawa was lounging very gracelessly on a sofa and babbling about how he wanted something to drink. “Or no, I want a cucumber – you must have some cucumbers, do you not, Mr. Kappa?” 

Tendou, who had discarded his jacket somewhere and was now only wearing a white muscle shirt with purple dots on it, cracked up laughing as he took out a futon. “Unfortunately, not. No cucumbers for this kappa here.”

“What---?” Oikawa exclaimed and almost fell off the sofa because he threw his hands in the air. “But I want a cucumber! Is there no store around here?”

“No, this is out in the sticks. Maybe you should just come over here and lie down?” Tendou patted the futon he just laid out, muscles flexing on his bare arms as he did so. “It’s very comfy – and I’ll bring you a glass of water. How does that sound?” 

“You just want to make me sleep,” Oikawa pouted. 

“But why would I? I just want you to be comfortable. And I know my sofa is anything but that.” 

“You’re a liar,” Oikawa slurred, but made his way over to the futon. He plumed down, rolled under the sheets and grinned up at Tendou. “Where’s my water?”

“Coming right up!” Tendou grinned, pushed past Kageyama, who was standing next to the door, and went to the small kitchen that was tucked away somewhere on the right-hand side of the corridor. He emerged only seconds later with a glass filled to the top with a clear liquid. He put the glass down on the floor next to Oikawa and said: “Volià. The water.” 

Oikawa mumbled something, which might have been a “thank you”, but Kageyama wasn’t too sure, took the glass and emptied it in one go. 

“Feeling better?”

“Much.” Oikawa smiled again in that disoriented way that drunk people sometimes smile. 

“Great, so just stay here and I’ll get you another glass of water.” Tendou stood up again, the glass in his hand and walked past Kageyama, who looked around the room, unsure what to do. “Come, Tobio-chan, I’ll get you something to drink as well. You look thirsty.” 

Kageyama blinked but didn’t protest when Tendou grabbed his arm and tugged him into the kitchen. Tendou’s hand felt warm on his own bare skin. Kageyama was wearing a black t-shirt with some slogan or other and Tendou had grabbed him right below the sleeve hem. 

“Not fair!” The black-haired man could hear Oikawa shout from the living room. After that there was just some sort of mumbling. Soon, there was nothing more to be heard. 

“Hopefully he fell asleep now.” Tendou winked. “Did he give you a fright, being such a bad drunk?”

Kageyama shrugged. “Some senpai from the club aren’t much better.”

“There’s always that guy.” Tendou winked. “Well, anyway. Do you wanna stay? I don’t have any more futon, so we’ll just have to stay awake until the first train or sleep on the floor.” 

“No problem, I’m not that tired.”

“Splendid.” Tendou winked again. “I’ll just quickly check on the baby. Have a seat and feel free to take some water.” He gestured towards two chairs that stood in the small kitchen and the sink where there were at least three glasses. 

Feeling a bit flustered at being in the kitchen of someone he hardly knew, Kageyama just sat down and stared at the wall. There were a lot of pictures and notes stuck to it. Kageyama wasn’t sure if he’d call Tendou ‘tidy’ or ‘messy’ for that. 

The pictures and notes were quite interesting though. Some were grocery lists– Kageyama had no idea how old they were and if Tendou had ever bought any of the things on them –, some were sketches of cats and other small animals, some were water paint pictures of nightly city landscapes and there was also the odd portrait thrown in. All in all, very diverse. 

Tendou came back, a faint smile on his face. “He’s already sleeping,” he said in a low voice and pushed the door to the kitchen shut behind him. “Do you want coffee, tea?” He tilted his head as he asked the question. “I also have just milk if you prefer.”

“No, tea is fine.” 

Tendou nodded and filled water into his electronic water cooker. As the water began to boil he took out two cups and put one bag of tea in each and waited for the water to be close to the boiling point. There was silence between the two men. Only the sounds of movement and the cups being set down on the metal surface interrupted the noise of the electric kettle. Tendou took the cooker off before it chimed to signal that the water had boiled and poured it over the bags. The green tea was then carefully set on the kitchen counter in front of Kageyama as there was no space for a table in the kitchen. 

“Thanks.” Kageyama forced a smile and took the cup in both hands. 

Silence settled again between them as they both took sips from their cups. 

Tendou let his drink sit, while Kageyama took very small sips. When the red-haired man finally picked up the baby-blue cup he managed to drink without his soft pink lips touching the edge of the cup. Kageyama wondered about if he wasn’t burning his mouth, drinking something warm like that, but Tenodu seemed adjusted to this way of living. He had been drinking the same way the whole evening. However, this time, he did not seem to be in a rush and he did not drink as much as he had back in the sports bar. Kageyama wondered, how he could drink the same way in two so different environments and look so different doing it. He also wondered how the red-haired man did not spill any liquid. He was sure that if he ever tried drinking something from a cup or bottle without touching the drinking vessel with his lips, he would end up spilling whatever liquid he was drinking. 

Tendou was the first to speak again: “So, you’re on Wakatoshi’s team now, huh?”

Kageyama nodded. “I got into Sendai University on a bit of luck.”

Tendou smirked. “Yeah, Karasuno is not to be compared to Shiratorizawa. I guess that you had to study your butt off to get to Sendai University. Wakatoshi got in fairly easily .He was also recommended, of course.”

Kageyama shrugged. “I’m just glad I got in.” It was only natural that a recommendation by the coach of Shiratorizawa had more weight than the opinion of the supervisor of Karasuno’s Volleyball club. Kageyama still vividly remembered how Takeda had not even known the basics of volleyball when he had first started looking after the club.“What about you? No-one talked about what you’re doing right now.”

“Oh me?” Tendou wiggled his eyebrows. “Well, it’d be too easy if I just told you so – guess!” He flashed all his teeth as he smiled at him in a fake cheerful manner.

“Art?” Kageyama flicked his eyes towards the wall and Tendou followed. 

The red-haired man looked pensive for a moment but then shook his head. “No – guess again!”

Kageyama shrugged and took a minute to think about. Maybe… “Childcare?” 

This made Tendou crack up again. “Good joke! But no.” He shook his head again. “I think, children are scared of me, so there’s no future in that. Guess one last time!”

Kageyama shrugged again. “I have no idea.”

“Aww, come on! Just guess.”

He hated guessing games. He had never been good at them – most of his tests from the first year in high school were proof of that. So, he went for the least likely thing: “Economics?”

“Oh god! No!” Tendou slammed a hand against his chest and mock fainted. “That’d be too boring really,” he added, as he recovered. “I study computer sciences, specializing in AI when I get to my masters.” 

Kageyama’s eyes became the size of saucers. He had known that people from Shiratorizawa were smart… “So, you study at (2) Touhoku University?”

Tendou nodded. “I didn’t feel like going anywhere else, so I applied for the uni here. It was already annoying enough to get my own place here, not far from where I used to live – imagine if I had gone to Tokyo!” He theatrically shook his head. “Though Oikawa tells me that there are a lot more of those interesting bars and clubs down in the capital city…”

“Interesting bars?” Kageyama tilted his head like a small, confused puppy.

“You know – places like we’ve been to today, just without the sports-bar aspect.” Tendou winked at him. “And in some neighbourhoods, they also changed the laws so that landlords cannot discriminate against people like us as easily, because who would be allowed to discriminate against lawfully wedded people?” Kageyama was still equally confused and it was written across his face, which made Tendou laugh. “Did you live under a rock, or what?” He laughed even harder when Kageyama creased his eyebrows. “Yeah, in Tokyo it is possible for same-sex couples to marry. If I ever find a partner, I will probably move down there to get a certificate.”

“You don’t really seem like the marrying kind…” 

“Well, I might be a lot more serious than I seem. Or maybe I just like legal benefits, who knows.” Tendou grinned at him. “But that’s for the future. I’m really not stable enough to think of marriage yet. And I don’t have a partner.” He shrugged. “How about you? Anyone dear to your heart?” 

The question should not have taken Kageyama by surprise, he really should have expected it. Still, he sat there for a moment unsure how to answer. 

“Oh! If you’re not comfortable answering that – then don’t,” Tendou quickly said, but Kageyama already shook his head.

“No, it’s not… I don’t have anyone right now.” A knot twisted in his stomach. Was he really not over the fact that Tsukishima had dumped him yet? This should not have been so difficult to admit. 

“Oh, so you had someone?” Tendou asked curiously.

Kageyama nodded. “But it’s been over since almost a year now.”

“Wow, that’s a long time!” Tendou stood up and put his cup in the sink. “Wait – that means you had someone when you were still in high school?”

Kageyama looked away, crimson spreading from his cheeks down his neck, but nodded.

Tendou whistled. “Lucky you.”

“Who knows,” Kageyama mumbled. 

“Want some more tea?”

“No thank you.”

“Okay.” Tendou took Kageyama's empty cup and put it in the sink with the other dirty dishes. “Are you feeling tired?”

Kageyama shook his head. “Not really.”

“Then let’s play a game – I’ll get some cards. It’s easier to stay awake if you have something to do.” Tendou disappeared from the kitchen. 

It didn’t take him long to find the cards and come back. It took him a lot longer to explain the game to Kageyama, as the younger man was not used to playing card games and lacked even the most basic knowledge of how to play. But that filled a lot of time, so five o’clock rolled around quicker than anyone would have anticipated. Kageyama ended up staying longer than until the first train, but he left before Oikawa was even remotely awake. The black-haired man had to go home and take a shower and maybe get a nap in before heading off to his part time work, so he did not wait for his former senpai to be in any condition to accompany him. Tendou told him that that was fine, he didn’t mind Oikawa much, especially when he was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) genkan: entrance area where you can put your outside shoes. Usually the genkan is floor level with the door while one has to take a step upwards to get onto the level of the “real” house.   
> (2)Touhoku University: according to Google, Touhoku University is ranked 2nd in Japan in the field of computer sciences


	4. Bella Notte

Kageyama Tobio: Hi. I got home safe. Thank you for last night. Please tell me if there should be an opportunity to repay you.

Tendou Satori: Don’t mention it. Glad you got home safe and thanks for keeping me company, it was fun. We should do that again. 

Kageyama Tobio: Please no, I don’t like card games.

Tendou Satori: Awwww come on, you’ll get better someday! 

Kageyama smiled. He had exchanged numbers with Tendou shortly before leaving for his train as the red-haired man had insisted that he wanted to know when Kageyama got home. It was very nice of him to care that much. Not many of his friends were that interested in his wellbeing. 

Kageyama had plugged his phone in and jumped on his bed. He’d take a shower when he had to get up for his part-time job.

***

The rest of the day had been uneventful. The following week as well. Kageyama continued to send to and receive messages from Tendou. It was a nice exchange. Sometimes the red-haired man was funny, sometimes even ridiculous but always very kind and considerate. For reasons Kageyama could not understand, he found himself feeling very understood by the older man. He also felt like he could confide in him even though he had very little reason to. The only other people he had ever felt this comfortable with were Hinata and Tsukishima, though the latter could now definitely be scratched from the list. 

Maybe he only felt so close to Tendou because he was the first person after Tsukishima who had the same orientation as him– Oikawa didn’t count due to his obnoxiousness. 

Of course, Hinata had been there for him but it was different to talk to someone who appreciated the same things. Hinata had tried to understand. However, it was difficult for him to really comprehend what was attractive about another man. The same way it was difficult for Kageyama to understand why someone would be interested in a woman – especially a plain one like Yachi. Sure, she was sweet and friendly but not very interesting… 

Tendou Satori: What you up to?

A smile crept on Kageyama’s face. 

Kageyama Tobio: Not much. You?

Tendou Satori: Studying :P 

Kageyama Tobio: Really?

Tendou Satori: Nope. Feel like going out for food together?

Kageyama Tobio: Today?

Tendou Satori: Is it convenient?

Kageyama Tobio: It’s 10pm…

Tendou Satori: So… That’s a no?

Kageyama Tobio: Even if we met in the middle it’d be kind of a waste…

Tendou Satori: You’re right. So, tomorrow then?

Kageyama Tobio: Sure. I have my part time job until 5pm. So, 5:30pm at Tatekoshi station? East Exit. 

Tendou sent a thumbs up. 

Even though it was late and Kageyama was rather exhausted from volleyball training, he felt elated and suddenly full of energy. He couldn’t wait for it to be the next day. 

***

Tatekoshi was roughly the (1) midpoint between Sendai University and Touhoku University. Kageyama’s part time work was close to Tsukinoki Station, which meant he was one stop closer to Tatekoshi than he would have been from his dorms at the university, so he could have suggested another place to meet. However, he would have to go home again at some point and he also didn’t really know if Tendou would be coming from Touhoku Universtiy or from another place. In addition to that, he knew a nice place close to Tatekoshi station which he had always wanted to try. 

As he arrived at Tatekoshi station, Kageyama wished that he would have been able to take a shower before meeting Tendou. Not because he wanted to be more appealing for Tendou but because it was rather hot outside and he felt gross knowing that he had not showered since after training the day before. 

He had gone to work with the first train. As he worked in a Seven-Eleven convenience store, he had been able to change into something and out of it again, so the shirt he was wearing was not as sweaty as it could have been. Still it felt somewhat unpleasant. 

Kageyama was standing outside on the square of the east entrance to Tatekoshi station. He was staring at his phone to keep himself occupied while waiting when a message popped up. 

Hinata-Boke: Guess what!

KageyamaTobio: What?

Hinata-Boke: Yachi wrote to me! 

KageyamaTobio: Really? What does she want?

Hinata-Boke: She’ll come home for (2) obon and wants to meet up. 

KageyamaTobio: Good for you. Maybe you can talk to her then? 

“Are you inviting more people?” 

Kageyama almost shrieked. Almost. He was very proud for keeping his mouth shut. However, his heart was beating very fast as he turned around and faced Tendou, who looked at him curiously. “No. Hi. Er, it’s just Hinata, nothing of importance.” He let the phone slide into his pocket. “Ready to go?”

“Sure. Let’s go!” Tendou enthusiastically threw a hand up in the air. “But where? It doesn’t really look like there are any places here…” He formed two circles with his fingers and pretended to look through a binocular in search for a restaurant.

Kageyama wondered why he thought that was adorable… “Well, there is a place called Stamina Taro if we go left and continue on for a bit.”

“Stamina Taro.” Tendou whistled. “Suppose they have meat?”

“They do. There’s an (3) à discretion dinner menu for 2110yen for 90 minutes.”

Tendou’s face lit up in joy. “Great, I already love the place.”

Kageyama mentally patted himself. Good choice.

They walked to the restaurant and stood in a queue for a while, because it was a rather popular place. One of the reasons probably being, that there were very few restaurants in the area. Standing in the queue gave them enough time to ponder their choices of what they wanted to order first, which was not a bad thing. When they finally got a table, they were seated in a booth. Their server gave them the necessary safety instructions concerning the grill that was in the middle of the table and turned it on, so that they would be able to start putting their meat on as soon as it would be delivered to them. Before they were left alone, they ordered their first order of meat, some vegetables and sides and of course their drinks. 

When they were finally left alone, Tendou grinned. “Sorry about yesterday. I sometimes forget what time it is because I don’t keep a regular schedule.”

“No problem.” Kageyama shook his hand in an attempt to underline that it was really no bother at all. “I was just surprised. I mean, we don’t really know each other.”

“Aww! But that’s not a problem. You know, I feel like you are someone who can tolerate me. You probably get lots of practice thanks to Chibi-chan. So, I thought I’d just try to be friendlier.”

Kageyama raised an eyebrow, not exactly sure what he should reply to that. 

“Or are you opposed to us being friends?”

“No, not at all. It is nice to exchange opinions with like-minded people.”

“You mean because we’re both gay.”

“Or because we both play volleyball.”

Tendou laughed. “Oh, well. Sorry, I gave up on sports. Really, I was never as good as either you or Wakatoshi. So… it was for the best.”

“You quit?”

“Yeah, right after high school. It was just a hobby anyway.”

“But you were really good. I still remember how annoyed everyone was with your blocks during the final in the preliminaries. Even Tsukishima got serious all of a sudden.”

“Oh, Glasses-boy? He sure did. It was nice seeing his angry face through the net. Too bad we lost.”

Kageyama smirked. “Sorry that I don’t share that opinion.” He yelped as Tendou kicked him under the table. “That was mean!”

“You reap what you sow,” the red-haired man said nonchalantly and took a sip from his beer that had been delivered just a moment ago. 

All in all, it was a pleasant evening for Kageyama. And as it turned out, it was the first of many to follow. It was usually Tendou who asked him to hang out when he had free time or claimed that he needed someone to eat with but on occasion Kageyama would invite him. They saw each other more or less regularly once or twice every two weeks. Most of the times they were just the two of them, but every now and then Ushijima would join them as he was the only mutual friend they had or Tendou would suddenly show up at a social of the volleyball club, which Kageyama thought was a bit weird but then again very little of what Tendou did was very normal. 

It baffled the black-haired man how Tendou was so unconcerned about what other people thought. He just couldn’t understand how one was not afraid of some of their actions backfiring….

What Kageyama also did not understand was how he had sort of known Tendou since his first year in high school and still it was only now that he had started to feel somehow interested in the tall redhead. As far as he could remember, he had never thought that Tendou was in any way sexy during their match back then in the preliminaries for the spring inter-high tournament. Now however, he could not stop thinking about him. Could not help but wonder when they would meet next and if they could possibly become anything more than friends.

He did not talk about these thoughts with anybody. They were nonsense at best and rather dangerous at worst. Why would he ruin a perfectly fine friendship by trying to get into the other person's pants? What good had it done to him to go out with Tsukishima? Well, if he was honest, they had never been friends so that was kind of a bad comparison. But the point was still there – why possibly ruin something that was perfectly good the way it was?

Looking forward to meeting someone was not a bad feeling. Neither was hoping to meet them sooner rather than later. They usually met outside for food and one or two times Tendou had made him and Ushijima go watch a movie with him, so the atmosphere was never intimate. Not as intimate as sitting in Tendou’s kitchen at four o’clock in the morning must seem to an outside observer. 

Looking back, Kageyama wondered if he had fallen for him that morning or if he was just desperately trying to pin point the moment when his feelings had taken over. Not that it made a difference. He could not kill the feelings. He had tried killing his feelings when he had broken up with Tsukishima and it had not worked. So, killing these feelings was impossible as well. He could only patiently wait until they would leave him. 

But what if he didn’t want them to leave? 

It was so nice to just sit there with Tendou and watch him elaborate on one thing or another. How would it feel sitting there and not seeing all of it in rose-colour? Would he not feel bored if these feelings would vanish? He sometimes wondered if Ushijima was not sometimes bored with Tendou’s stories – but it was hard to tell. 

He got some sort of answer to that question when he met Hinata around Christmas time. They had not met up in a while, both having been busy with studying, part-time jobs and volleyball. However, Hinata had insisted on meeting before the end of the year. His exact message had been “WE HAVE TO MEET” and so Kageyama had reserved one Friday night to meet with his high school classmate. 

They met up in front of Sendai Station at around 8pm and then went to the nearest izakaya. As they sat down, Hinata already started to talk about Yachi and how her visit at obon had been. They got interrupted several times by a waiter asking about what they wanted to order, coming back to ask about their orders again and finally bringing their orders. 

“So, she has a new guy?” Kageyama concluded after toasting to Hinata and taking a sip from his oolong tea. 

“She does,” Hinata confirmed. “I’m happy for her – but I can’t help but feel weird about it. Do you suppose Yamaguchi knows?” 

Kageyama shrugged. He had never been very involved with Tsukishima’s sidekick and never planned on being. Now, however, it did seem a bit weird that he did not know anything about his life. 

“It would be a shame if he didn’t…” Hinata stuffed his face with edamame. “I mean imagine…” He went on to explain about how he’d be mortified to find out about Yachi from some random source, maybe even years later. And this was when Kageyama realized that yes, if you were friends you didn’t mind the boring stuff, the endless conversations. So, even if he would get rid of his feelings, he would still like hanging out with Tendou. 

However, his feelings were not as easily changed. When he got back from talking to Hinata and making his friend feel better, he got a text from Tendou and his heart immediately jumped. 

Tendou Satori: How you doing?

Kageyama Tobio: Fine, but exhausted – Hinata was a lot of work…

Tendou Satori: How’s Chibi-chan doing?

Kageyama Tobio: Great – or so. His heart was broken, again. 

Tendou Satori: Oooh Yachi-chan huh?

Kageyama Tobio: Yep.

Tendou Satori: Well, well, well! Tsukishima and Yachi are peas in a pot, aren’t they? 

Kageyama Tobio: I’d rather not

Tendou Satori: get into that? Well then, let’s just move on ;) 

Kageyama’s heart pounded so hard when he read that line. Move on, YES he wanted to move on. Preferably with him – but how could he have said that when he just had decided to give up on these feelings? 

Making such a decision did not keep him from masturbating to the thought of the red-haired man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) midpoint: While researching, I found out that Sendai University isn’t actually in Sendai but around 1h away from the main train station of Sendai. Touhoku University on the other hand is pretty close to Sendai main station (or at least compared to Sendai Uni). Tatekoshi is a little more than 20min from Sendai University (including walking to the nearest station) and a little more than 35min from Touhoku University (again, including walking).   
> (2)obon: It is believed that during obon the spirits of deceased ancestors come back to earth. There are commonly festivals with food stalls, music, dance etc. during obon. The date depends on different factors and is variable. The common date in the Touhoku region is in July. However, in the South of Japan there are also obon festivities in August. Obon is comparable to the Catholic All Soul’s Day (02.11), as people visit their ancestor’s graves, pray for their souls etc.   
> (3)à discretion: in this context French for ‘all you can eat’


	5. Gospel Truth

Waking up to a sticky bed wasn’t a great feeling. Really not. But at least he did not need to worry about his mother finding his dirty sleep-wear or his dirty linen. God, was he happy about that! He had hated having to hide his escapades with Tsukishima or even his normal bodily functions from his parents because he was sort of ashamed of it. Now that he was basically living alone no-one had to care and he could clean the sheets all in his own time. Which meant that he threw his bedsheets and his pyjama in one corner of the room, slung a towel around his hips and went to the shower. 

Standing under the hot spray of water he tried to remember what he had dreamt that night. He was sure that a certain red-haired man had featured in it and that he had thought it felt good whatever they had done, but he wasn’t really all that sure. The harder he tried to remember the more his memories seemed to elude him. The only thing that seemed clear was that it had not been an innocent dream – far from it. 

Feeling refreshed though frustrated when he came out of the shower, Kageyama dressed and went to the small shared kitchen for breakfast. After that he went to get his things and rushed off to classes. 

When he checked his phone some time that day, he had several messages from Hinata and Tendou as well as Yaku-san. 

Yaku-san sent him the updated training schedule for the winter holidays. Kageyama sighed as he quickly scanned the dates, there was little to no free time to be found, considering that he had also put in some extra shifts at his part time work due to classes not taking place for almost 3 weeks. The break started on the Emperor’s birthday (1) and would end mid-January. 

Hinata tried to extort him to meet him once again before the end of the year, which Kageyama had to decline. As much as he had realized that he enjoyed meeting Hinata – really enjoyed despite him sometimes sounding like a broken record because of Yachi – there was really no time to. Declining Tendou’s invitation was equally challenging. But he really couldn’t go out on Christmas day or for hatsumoude (2), not when he had to work on both dates. 

Tendou Satori: But Waka told me you don’t have practice on 2. Jan. either. SO he’s going too!

Kageyama Tobio: Really can’t. I work every day I don’t have practice 

Tendou Satori: You really don’t have time for even five minutes?

Kageyama Tobio: No shrine visit is done in just 5 minutes.

Tendou Satori: Damn. You’re brighter than you look :P 

Tendou Satori: Fine, let’s meet second week of January then. Second day of when classes have started again. No excuses.

Kageyama Tobio: Okay, I’ll try to be free on that day. Anything you want to do?

Kageyama saw the ‘Tendou typing…’ for a sold five minutes. Little did he know what Tendou had wanted to type instead of what he ended up typing…

Tendou Satori: Food.

Kageyama Tobio: Sure. Sendai Station, 7pm?

Tendou Satori: Perfect.

Time seemed to pass slowly despite Kageyama being so busy. He did not know why, but Tendou had stopped writing to him. Kageyama could only guess that he was too busy to find time to write, but it hurt. He did not want to fade out of Tendou’s life. So he did the one thing he had been avoiding for a long time – he told Hinata about the whole situation.

Hinata-Boke: Why don’t you write to him then??

Kageyama Tobio: I don’t want to seem like a nuisance. Besides, I’m busy too…

Hinata-Boke: You’re stupid…

Kageyama Tobio: Say what? The stupid one is the one who is saying that you are stupid!

Hinata-Boke: Am not!

Kageyama Tobio: You are!

Hinata-Boke: And why exactly am I stupid? 

Kageyama Tobio: Because…. Because… you’re still hung up about Yachi

Hinata-Boke: Tf! Then you’re double stupid! Being hung up about Tendou AND Tsukishima! 

Kageyama Tobio: shut up!

Kageyama clicked his tongue in frustration. Maybe, just maybe, Hinata was on to something. Maybe it was time…

Hinata-Boke: well! If you aren’t hung up on Tsukki, then contact him. See how he’s doing. Be a good friend, ya kno :P

Kageyama Tobio: Didn’t I tell you do shut it? 

Like hell he would contact Tsukishima. Not now that he had finally found someone else. 

Kageyama put his phone into his locker and went back out into the store. His break was almost over anyway. 

While he was working that day, he wondered just vaguely why the mention of Tsukishima had struck a different cord than usual. Before he had always felt rage about the break-up and a lingering feeling of regret, maybe some kind of wish to get back together. Now he was only upset about Hinata’s attempt at making him do something he had sworn not to do. 

Why would he contact Tsukishima? What could he possibly say to him?

“Hei… Well…. See, I found this really weird guy and kind of fell for him… Any good advice?” – Like hell he could just say that! 

“Hey! How are you? Anyone new in your life?” – He mentally facepalmed himself. How could he possibly just nonchalantly ignore the year they had not talked? That would be ridiculous! 

However, Kageyama could not help but stare at his phone that evening as he lay in bed. He flipped through the pictures and when he finally reached the two or three with his ex-boyfriend on them he felt nothing. Not the usual sting or anything. Those were suddenly only pictures of a reasonably good-looking guy. 

Maybe it was really time… Reasonably speaking, he would not regret contacting Tsukishima. Even if they would not really talk things out, there would be no way he would regret having tried – right? People did tend to say that the only thing people really regret is not having done something. 

Kageyama rolled over in his bed and decided that it was probably now or never.

Kageyama Tobio: Long time no talk (3)… How’s life? 

He stared at his phone for a short moment before deciding that he would not wait up for a message that might not ever come. So he turned around to plug his phone in for the night when it suddenly vibrated in his hand. 

Idiot-shima Kei: Long time indeed… I don’t know why you decided to contact me now of all times. I’m doing just fine, if that’s what you want to know. 

Kageyama smirked. He tried to think of something to say, but he couldn’t, so he just wrote: Good to know. 

It took a moment before another message came. 

Idiot-shima Kei: Eloquent as always, I see. Is there a specific reason you write to me now?

His heart sunk and for a moment and he wasn’t sure if he was really ready. But if not now, when then? 

Kageyama Tobio: I

Ugh, why had he pressed the send button after only one word? Tsukishima would laugh at him for sure!

Kageyama Tobio: I was just thinking that it was about time that [he hesitated a moment before writing more] we got over that thing from you know when and you know, were friends.

He could just picture Tsukishima raise an eyebrow or smirk at him condescendingly, maybe even snicker at his stupid attempt of patching things up. 

He was not rewarded with another answer that night. But still, he felt better. He had at least tried and now he was sure that he did not want anything to happen with Tsukishima anymore. That was definitely finished. 

*

He met Tendou as promised for food the second day of classes. It was like always, they went to an omurice (4) place and Tendou filled him in on all the interesting things that had happened while the had not met. Kageyama smiled a lot that evening, mostly because Tendou’s retelling of how he had gone for hatsumoude with Ushijima was so unbelievably exaggerated that it could only be made up. It was none the less a very entertaining story. 

“So, how has the new year treated you so far?” Tendou wiggled his eyebrows at him. 

Kageyama shrugged and he would never be able to tell why he said what he said: “Actually very well. I finally talked things out with Tsukishima. So, I guess, this is a great thing.” 

Tendou blinked at him and seemed dumbfounded for a second. “You did?”

“Oh… Er… Yeah.” Kageyama blushed. “Having been teammates and all it was kind of awkward that we have not talked since graduation and since we’re almost second year students now I thought…”

“Great.” Kageyama wondered why Tendou’s laugh sounded more hysteric to his ears than ever. “So, you getting back together?”

“No!” The thought was horrifying – why had he even said something to Tendou? Why had he been this stupid? 

Why did Tendou seem pleased? 

Why did his heart leap for a moment?

“I mean, you know, it’s just – we’ve split such a long time ago and I just… I just sort of needed closure, that’s all.” 

“That’s good to hear.” Tendou smiled at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1)Emperor’s Birthday: 23. December is a public holiday, schools are therefore closed.  
> (2)hatsumoude:初詣 First shrine visit of the year. Usually either done on New Year’s Day or within the first week of the new year.  
> (3) Long time no talk… I know this sounds awkward, and first of all I want Kageyama to sound awkward – but second there is this phrase in Japanese 久しぶり ‘hisashiburi’ which roughly translates into “long time no see”, which is used as an opening phrase in any context where you haven’t talked to or seen a person – so he’s just being polite.  
> (4) omurice: omelette-rice; tomato flavoured rice topped with a yellow egg-omelette


End file.
